Fun Things To Do When The Strippers Come Over (Besides Sitting There Like Scared Schoolboys)

Look, everyone's excited when the entertainment's booked, but if your entire plan is twenty blokes standing around awkwardly holding Great Northerns and saying "oooohhhh" every five minutes, you're leaving plenty on the table.

Because the best nights aren't just about what you've booked. They're about the absolute circus that unfolds around it.

Get The Groom Looking Ridiculous

Nothing too cruel, but if old mate is turning up in normal clothes while everyone else is making an effort, he's asking for trouble.

Cowboy hat. Fake moustache. Bintang singlet. Bright pink Crocs. A hi-vis shirt with "Rooting Around Australia" written on the back.

Something that guarantees he's still getting tagged in photos when he's fifty.

Start A "Who's Falling In Love?" Pool

Every group has one. Usually he's had three beers and suddenly he's sitting there going:

"Bro she's actually really down to earth."

"Yeah mate. That's her job."

"No but seriously..."

Throw in ten bucks each and pick who catches feelings first. It's honestly one of the safest bets you'll ever make.

Poker Table In The Corner

Nothing brings out confidence like blokes who've watched two episodes of Poker Face and suddenly think they're Phil Ivey.

There's always one bloke saying "all in boys" every hand while holding a seven and a two, then spends the next hour explaining how unlucky he is.

Give Out Awards Throughout The Night

Best dance moves.

Worst dance moves.

Most likely to text his ex.

Most likely to say "I still got it".

First bloke asleep.

Most likely to disappear and start talking fishing with somebody's uncle.

And of course:

"Hero Of The Night."

Usually awarded to the bloke who ordered thirty nuggets at 1 am and somehow saved the entire operation.

Karaoke Is A Gamble

You either create memories for life or witness your mate absolutely massacre Horses by Daryl Braithwaite while everybody joins in and somehow nobody knows the words. Which is also a memory for life.

Feed The Boys

This cannot be overstated. Nothing good happens after midnight when everyone is hungry.

You don't want to watch Steve trying to cook frozen dim sims in an air fryer while giving financial advice because he made $700 on crypto once.

Order pizza. Trust the process.

Keep A Running Leaderboard

• Who says "how good's this?" the most.

• First bloke to lose his shirt.

• First bloke to lose his wallet.

• Most random injury.

• Biggest yarn.

• Worst haircut.

• Who starts talking about buying jetskis.

Because somehow every boys' night eventually ends with someone looking at boats on Marketplace.

Remember Why Everyone's There

The funny thing is, years later nobody remembers every detail. Nobody remembers what beers were in the esky. Nobody remembers whose speaker connected first.

But everyone remembers Gaz trying to prove he could still do a backflip. Everyone remembers Dave falling asleep sitting upright.

Everyone remembers old mate saying he was "just having a couple" before delivering a thirty-minute speech nobody asked for and that's the stuff that actually makes a great night.

Not perfection, just the boys, a few laughs, and enough stories to keep the group chat alive for another five years.